brian chernicky.com
 
  • provides wholesale, bargain time machines for the immediate remedy of regret and ignorance.
  • cut his hair because it looked "as bad as Colin Farell's in Miami Vice."
  • apologizes for the inconvenience.
  • guarantees web miscellany or your money back.
  • says there are no excuses, everything is online now.
  • plays by a strict "two strikes and you're out" rule.
  • is the future of the past.
  • invites Tiger Woods' wife to a dinner and a movie.
  • is the magic 8-ball of cyberspace.
  • is a straight b/c student.
  • tells the truth to people that can't handle it.
  • is apparently the world's leading authority on Big Buck Hunter for the Wii.
  • is proud to nominate a candidate for worst web hosting company in the world.
  • knows the only thing people hate more than criticism is constructive criticism.
  • humanistic skin with cognitive innards.
  • was wondering if Google is the new God.
  • has got a deep desire to swim while in my full attire.
  • thinks Mario Lopez and Mario Andretti should dress up like plumbers for Halloween.
  • thinks Google should change its name to Skynet.
  • thinks bicycle supremacists should have a spot in hell right next to people driving SUV's while talking on cell phones.
  • doesn't like bullies.
  • now has 99.5% less hair.
  • knows that killer whales attack trainers because THEY'RE KILLER WHALES.
  • thinks Stephen Hawking is probably wrong (about aliens).
  • takes pictures of people every now and then.
  • recognizes what conservatives and liberals of the Baby Boomer generation have in common when forwarding political emails.
  • bought a telegraph app for the iphone.
  • highly recommends Truth Enough: Learning to Live in a Post-Fact Society.
  • thinks it's funny that all movies based on video games suck.
  • will only date women that can parallel park.
  • invented a time machine but forgot where he parked it.
  • Donka doo ball.
  • is the Unlicensed Divemaster for the Drink and Dive Program at the Kennedy School for Degenerates.
  • knows bad marketing when he sees it.
  • knows good marketing when he sees it.
  • remade Avatar for around $20. (It cost James Cameron $500 million.)
  • likes to translate film lighting to photography lighting.
  • wants to know: When did Donald Trump stop beating his wives?
  • has embraced the "new normal" we now live in.
   
 
 
 
Spiny Lobster: 3.15 lbs, 4 3/4 inch carapice.
 
 
 
 
  		 
 
 
   
 

© Brian Chernicky
Email contact: my first name at my full name dot com
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